Thursday, March 8, 2007

triangle

Mayb i really should refrain myself from posting too many 'emo' posts..giving the impression that my blog is all about nothing but sadness and complaints.
Maybe i should put an end to all these ..it's raising too much curiosity among some of u .. =p

I guessed when i said in the last post that i was in a situation like Hinder's lyrics, many of u will start questionin' & getting more curious to know what was it about.. didn't it? No point trying to figure out what's goin on..if u're curious, ask me! i may have the mood to tell ya ;)

whatever it is.. i'm tired. i really am. i don't wanna feel the way i feel now.. i'm spilling everything..

Finally I realised mayb i was wrong. I was wrong since the beginning. Wrong to develop feelings for someone who's not really worth it. Someone who's .. impossible. and as clear as i know what i should do , it seems like something keeps holding me back & maybe that explains y the problem drags till today...

I should've known when u said "it's not temporary", u only meant it at that point of time. It wasn't real..
Because with or without me.. reallie doesn't affect u that much. Thanks my dear friend who was kind enough to pass a short msg to u today. If not, i wouldn't have known what i wanted to know. But it wasn't pleasing. u care less about all these. To u i mayb someone u use to kill time when whoever's not around, or rather to know that someone has feelings for u , ur probably enjoying d feeling of being liked at this moment. I really don't know if my assumptions are true. But i jus can't seem to prove them wrong. It was confusing , one day u were being sincere & all , the next day what i heard seems like a different u. You know it's already damn difficult for me to contact u .. i feel like an alien ,i couldnt even talk to u like others can..
Even if i ever get to c u with our friends around, I either avoid, or i gotta pretend as if nothing had happened.. bcuz they know u,they know her.. Tried that and it wasnt something i enjoy doing, just so u know ..i guessed some of ur frens actually realised something.. they just dont tell. It wasn't easy and i don't think u actually bother about wat i'm going thru.. mayb u just don't show it or mayb the fact is, u reallie don't. Why am i doing all these for.. it was for u. Didnt want ppl to misunderstand u, didnt want u to feel so stressed up , didnt want u to be in a dilemma .. didnt wan u to be unhappy! 

Y when i decided not to keep in touch with u anymore , u send me another msg to tell me u care? we've made it clear it's impossible but y do u still show signs of care?  There was actually no need for u to inform me ur whereabouts ,telling me 'im not seeing u today'  'i cant sms u today' , calling me to take care of myself for YOU ,
stoppin by my place one fine 'a.m.' and msg to tell me the next day u actually wanted to c me .. and askin me how was my sick.. when you yourself said it clear that it's not gonna work out. So why r u doing all these? Is it just a game.. i couldnt tell anymore if you were being true and sincere anymore.. it's not like U will ever tell me..

N to find out u reallie didnt take all these into serious consideration,it does hurt a little.. u don't explain. i don't ought to know ?at all?  
u probably won't read this,it's like 0.1% of chance u will ever come online. 
mayb its not reallie worth liking u, maybe u wont get anymore of my attentions..
i don't even know who am i to u. A passerby?? now u tell me.




3 comments:

sLeEPy_ChaRLes said...

Well hope you put everything out of your mind soon... Exams are coming and you should really start trying to get some studying in eventhough its hard... Unlike relationship problems, your exam results will affect you for life...

-yeemun- said...

thanks papa..i will=) don't worry i always study for exams..haha

sLeEPy_ChaRLes said...

Huh...

Since when i became ur dad....
I'm only older then u (i dunno, 1 or 2 years) where can be ur dad..

:p